


Weird I Know

by pushupindrag



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alpha!Dirk - Freeform, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Miscommunication, Omega!Todd, Post-Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 08:01:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16081889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushupindrag/pseuds/pushupindrag
Summary: Todd realises his feelings for Dirk. Unfortunately, Dirk is none the wiser.They have the agency set up, and their next case is, according to Dirk ‘a doozy’, apparently.So of course, Todd’s traitor brain takes this time to fully come to terms with his feelings for Dirk.And because the universe hates him, it happens just before his first heat under the full moon.





	Weird I Know

**Author's Note:**

> Does this fandom need more a/b/o fics? I dunno but I wrote one!
> 
> More like a/b/lmao ammiright lads?
> 
> Un-beta'd so please let me know if you find any mistakes!
> 
> Come chat to me about these dorks on my tumblr [here!](http://rowdysix.tumblr.com/) you want!

They have the agency set up, and their next case is, according to Dirk ‘a doozy’, apparently.

So of course, Todd’s traitor brain takes this time to fully come to terms with his feelings for Dirk.

And because the universe hates him, it happens just before his first heat under the full moon.

*

The few days he has in which his feelings sort themselves out are calm. In fact they’re practically idyllic as he and Dirk lounge around between their apartments. Just being. While Farah went to go visit Lydia, leaving them to it. Their company is easy, ordering food they quibble about before deciding on the usual. Conversation flows and stills as naturally as a stream, jokes and sarcasm passed back and forth like they had been doing it for years. Which, In retrospect they had. They fall asleep in the same room, sleep finding them easier when they weren’t alone. Coexisting, living together, seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

That’s probably where his feelings for Dirk had initially started when they had first met and had only grown from there. Being with Dirk was easy. Dirk was the first alpha who didn’t demand anything from him, want anything. Dirk just liked being in his company. And okay, Todd had wanted to punch him once or twice. Maybe more. But never because he felt threatened unlike with some alphas. Dirk was the most unentitled alpha Todd had ever met apart from Tina, although Tina did get a bit grabby on occasion. 

Todd appreciated it. Being a male omega was tough, he’d had his share of bad experiences and bad alpha boyfriends. It was tough, especially when he had been in the scene. Everyone wanted an omega to show off, especially one as ‘feisty’ as Todd. It had become a game practically. See if you can tame the wild omega in that punk band, make him submit and call him yours.

Todd fucking hated that. It was one of the reasons he left the damn scene in the first place. And it was why he didn’t really like clubs now except on occasion. Dirk and Farah had made that easier. Just having an alpha with him helped, and Farah was enough to scare anybody off when she thought one of her friends felt threatened, Dirk included. 

If she didn’t have the particular scent of a beta, most would assume she was an alpha. She was too good for those alpha assholes anyway, Dirk being the exception.

Apparently Dirk was the exception for Todd in a lot of things. The only alpha he truly trusted, somebody he told the truth too initially and then one hundred percent of the time from then on (even if he was trying his best with everyone else), the one person he could be around twenty four seven and not want to run away from and hide. Dirk could annoy Todd as much as he wanted and Todd never wanted to punch him, never wanted him to stop. Because he liked it when Dirk annoyed him, no matter how much he grumbled about. 

He was also the only person Todd let himself smell on occasion. Which was weird to think about. But Todd didn’t like scenting people, it was an invasion of privacy on the most basic of levels considering how easily emotions were read through scent. So he never let himself. But he had a few times with Dirk. When Dirk was asleep and content, he let himself be enveloped by the warmth and comfort of the sweet mallow and sharp sherbet smell of the alpha. 

He had always put it down to him being an omega, the comfort he got from Dirk’s scent. Years of genetics at work. But as his feelings work themselves out in the jumble in his head, he realises that it’s just Dirk.

Dirk made him feel safe, alpha or not. He made Todd a better person. 

Todd wanted to be around Dirk as often as he could, for as long as he could. Dirk made him better. 

Jolting up from his position on the couch, Dirk snoring softly in the bed, Todd practically falls from where he is, barely catching himself as his breathing becomes ragged as the realisation hits him. He liked Dirk. No, he was pretty sure he was falling for Dirk. He wanted Dirk, wanted Dirk to be his.

And oh, he pushes that last thought down. Just because he was an omega didn’t mean he had to give in to usual behaviours. Even if it felt so good and right, to think of Dirk as his. To want Dirk like that, to just let his guard down. He wasn’t ashamed of being an omega, not really. But he’d dealt with so much shit because of it, it was hard for him to embrace what he was, it was much easier pushing it down and pretending like it didn’t exist. Would he have to do that with Dirk though? If he let himself just be?

Dirk certainly didn’t give Todd any of the shit he was used to. And although Dirk was very much an alpha, he didn’t display like one like most alphas did. 

Not that any of it mattered really, because an alpha like Dirk would never be interested in him. Dirk deserved better than an asshole omega who wouldn’t do as he wanted. Dirk deserved the world. 

While he’s mulling this over, head reeling with the fact that he liked Dirk and then the sad realisation that Dirk deserved far far better, Dirk wakes and rolls over on the bed. In his sleepy state, he burrows into Todd’s pillow, arms going to pull it close as he slowly starts to wake up.

Todd misses this, barely, and only looks over when Dirk comes into himself properly, sitting up with a yawn.

“Stick the kettle on will you i’m dying.” His hair is sticking up everywhere, and Todd can’t help but glance at where his somehow too big shirt is practically falling off of his shoulder, revealing his collar bones. Todd wants to lick them, kiss the yawn from Dirk’s mouth and wipe the sleep from his eyes. 

Todd snorts, he can’t help himself, and buries his face in his hands. He was so fucked.

*

Two days later, that assumption is only proven when Todd wakes up feverish, impossibly hard and whining Dirk’s name into the sheets.

“Shit, fuck.” He manages to muffle the whine into his arm, hoping that Dirk isn’t the room. 

When he looks up, hips moving against the mattress without him even thinking about it, he’s glad to see that he isn’t. 

Farah is though, and she’s sitting on the couch with a box and a cup of coffee. Looking at her phone pointedly. 

Todd whines, unable to stop himself before coughing harshly to try and suppress it as Farah snorts in a somewhat affectionate manner. He hated being the vulnerable in front of people, even if it was just Farah.

“I’ll go now, I just wanted to make sure you got up okay. Or well, Dirk made me.”

“Dirk?” Todd’s hips kick again just at the name of the alpha.

“Yeah, he woke up this morning. Called me in a panic saying you smelt like heat. Apparently he read up on it? Dropped you this box off. And he stocked your cupboards. Or well, he bought the stuff and then gave it to me to stock.”

“He, really?” And oh the friction of the bed against his dick feels good, but he’s not so far gone that he’s not embarrassed. He tries to stop, he does. But it’s so hard when it feels so good.

Farah stands, draining the last of the mug. “We’ll see you in a few days Todd. I’ve got apartment keys so i’ll lock up when I go. Call me if you need anything, I think Dirk would knock down your door if you rang him and let’s be clear you do not want a broken door.” 

That name again. Dirk, his alpha. Fuck, he comes with that thought in mind as Farah leaves in what can only be described as a rush. 

His alpha. Dirk. No. He didn’t need an alpha. Or even want one. But he wanted Dirk, so so badly. 

The box, Dirk had brought him a box. He’s not in the full throws of his heat yet, so he gets up, pulling his underwear down to get rid of the sticky mess, wiping himself half-heartedly with them when he takes them off before tossing them next to the bed.

When he reaches the box he inhales, it all smelt like Dirk. Opening it is easy, it’s not taped or anything. But what he sees inside makes him close it again quickly, blush rapidly creeping up his neck to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Then he peeks again, blush intensifying.

It a small box granted, but it’s full of sex toys, lube, and condoms. Plus there’s a blanket at the bottom and wipes. Todd can barely look at it. How could Dirk know, why would he do that for him? Then he spots the note that taped to the inside.

_This is weird I know. But all the websites said this would help! Especially on a full moon heat. See you in a few days! Miss you already! ~~ <3 ~~_

Todd doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry, fingers drifting over Dirk’s scrawled writing and the heart he hadn’t scribbled out very well. He whines then, pitifully. Because Dirk wasn’t there. Dirk was somewhere else, and Dirk missed him.

His alpha missed him and Todd wasn’t there with him. But Dirk missed him, Dirk had put a heart at the end of the sentence. The sliver of his brain that wasn’t overcome with heat takes this in and stores it away, warming his heart.

“Dirk.” Todd whines again, hands going to rummage in the box for the blanket. It’s what was radiating Dirks scent and he buries his face into the soft fabric, inhaling as deeply as he can.

Then, clutching the blanket, he goes to look in the box. If Dirk wasn’t here he’d have to make do. He’d have to pretend. And that hurt, but then his dick starts to chub up again and he can’t really think of anything else.

Choosing is apparently easy. Going to grab any lube because he wasn’t slicking yet, and picking one of the smaller dildos. His feverish brain didn’t need anything bigger yet, it didn’t need a knot. That would happen tomorrow probably.

But for right now, thoughts of his alpha on his mind, scent filling his head, he takes his new toy to his bed, and settles in for the long haul.

He comes six times in as just as many hours, face buried in the blanket as he writhed. Calling out Dirk’s name. He’s sweaty and sticky with come, exhausted but still horny as all hell. Not having bothered pulling the toy from out of him, he pushes it roughly back in, free hand going to rub at the scent glands on his neck, his inner thigh. Images of Dirk looming over him, baring his teeth before biting his neck, marking him as he slammed into Todd over and over and over again. Muttering that Todd was his, his, his!

Seventh time is apparently the charm for now, as he barely comes, the fog eases slightly. Enough for him to recognise his hunger and thirst. 

“Shit.” Wiping a hand over his face, he pushes his hair back and scrubs at his scalp, trying to get it to behave but knowing he can’t. “Fuck alright.”

Moving hurts, because obviously. But he manages to get up with little fuss, hobbling into the kitchen, glad that Farah had the foresight to close his blinds as he’s completely naked and won’t bother getting dressed. Still feverish and itching, the fire of want and lust still curls in his stomach, so he looks for something light.

Opening the fridge is a surprise. It’s stocked full of those weird sports drinks full of vitamins or whatever. So he grabs one, flipping the cap to chug half of it down in one go before raiding the cupboards.

It’s less of a surprise to see that they’re full, Farah’s words floating back to him distantly. But what is another surprise is that it’s all of his favourite foods. From pure junk foods to slightly healthier junk foods. It’s all there, and there’s way too much for the few days of his heat.The reminder though that Dirk did this for him is enough for his arousal to spike again, and he grabs a packet of crisps and chocolate bar as well as his drink before going to the couch to sit.

Eating is quick, something to do to sustain the next however many hours. And later he knows he’ll regret not enjoying it. But he can’t, not now that his eyes have landed on the box again and the thoughts of Dirk stocking his kitchen, taking care of him, are filling his head.

Because that’s what alphas did. We’re supposed to do. Take care of their omegas. Of course it was a two way street but as the heat slowly starts to fill Todd’s limbs again, all he cares about is Dirk, his alpha, caring about him, looking after him, and it’s enough to get him to dive into the box, finding the next smallest before throwing himself back onto the bed.

He continues like that for the next day or two. Toys getting bigger and his heat hit him with stronger and stronger waves. He was never fully satisfied, because nothing but an alpha fucking him raw could do that. But it was enough. 

The food Dirk had thought to buy depleted, but barely. His feverish brain just grabbed enough to survive, although he got the through the drinks quickly. 

The last day if his heat, Todd was feeling more together, but he was still unashamed enough to whine Dirk’s name into the sheets as he fucked himself with the dildo, knot at the end barely going in as it filled him. 

His last orgasm is the strongest, bringing tears to his eyes as his overstimulated body finds the relief that only the end of a heat can bring. He’s a mess, unwashed and reeking of hormones. The bed was a lost cause between the slick and the sweat, and with the clarity that was helped by his hormones dying down he makes a vow to himself to do his best and change the sheets that night. 

Even though he knows he won’t with how exhausted he was. He doesn’t even shower, just falls straight asleep after he’s taken the toy out of himself, head still filled with thoughts of Dirk.

*

The next day, he gets up surprisingly early. Head still on the heat time schedule, which meant that he was up at random. 

First he takes some painkillers and downs three glasses of water in a row, body aching everywhere as he moves. It’s more a shuffle really as he gets to the bathroom, brain not thinking of anything but the pain that was slowly easing. He can’t think of anything else except getting clean, disgusted at how sticky and sweaty and stale he felt.

Showering makes it easier, the steam seeming to clear his head as he holds himself under the spray. He’s still a little tired and woozy, and even though his dick and ass hurt like hell, he makes sure to clean himself properly. Heats always left him feeling gross, so he takes longer than he probably needs to as he scrubs at himself, washing everywhere twice and his hair three times. He uses conditioner too, which he didn’t normally, as well as the nice shampoo and expensive body wash.

But it’s what he imagines an alpha would do to him after a heat, pamper him, take care of him. And the loneliness hits again. The emptiness in his gut from his heat consuming him again.

Heats left most single omegas emotionally vulnerable after their heats. Basic biology and all that. And he doesn’t fight it. He didn’t fight a lot of his omega behaviour because he didn’t think he had to other than the behaviours that were detrimental to him and how others treated him. Like him doing everything an alpha said, even though sometimes his body screamed at him to.

Loneliness though? The want for an alpha to pamper him, Dirk to pamper him? He let’s himself feel that, especially because nobody could see him as he slowly unwound in the shower, tears mixing with the thankfully neverending hot spray.

After the heat hormones have fully left his body (thank you crying, and the way it got rid of excess chemicals), he shuts the shower off and towels himself dry with a fluffy towel he reserved for after heats. 

Flicking the fan on in the bathroom, he goes through his usual morning routine, before going to get dressed. It’s only loose sweats because his body still aches, but it’s enough coverage for him to be able to open the curtains and windows, sticking his head out of the window to breath in a massive gulp of fresh air. 

The apartment got so stuffy after heats it felt fairly suffocating, so he throws open every window he can before going back to the kitchen to switch the coffee maker on. He needed coffee before even thinking about cleaning up.

He goes to look through the cupboards, immaculately sorted thanks to Farah and grabs some of his favourite cereal which he knew he didn’t have before his heat, eating it dry straight from the packet as he waits for the coffee maker to do its job. It’s apparently what he needs as he messily shoves handful after handful of the sweet cereal into his mouth.

Dirk must have bought it, remembering his favourite cereal from a conversation that Todd had forgotten. And oh, thoughts of Dirk flood back into his mind as the coffee maker clicks to let him know it was done.

Dirk. His alpha.

Todd then shakes his head violently even though it hurts to do so. Nope. He was out of his hormone induced fog. Dirk wasn’t anything to do with him other than a friend. Dirk deserved better than him. A good person, a willing omega. Dirk deserved the world. 

Not someone like Todd.

So Todd pushes it down, ignoring how good of an alpha, no, a friend, Dirk was to him. Making sure he had enough food and the likes. Farah would have done the same, Todd rationalises to himself. Dirk was just very affectionate. Dirk was just his friend. 

Grabbing at the mug that now held exactly what he needed, he scalds his tongue as he takes the first gulp, wincing but then draining it before putting it back under the machine, programming it again so the mug fills. The scalding was doing a good job in keeping his mind off of other things, and it centers him a little, making him able to shake off the very last of his heat. 

He drinks the next mug slowly, leaning against the counter as he stares into space. Feeling better, ache easing and brain no longer foggy, he goes to reach for his phone which was by the coffee machine.

_Own: All good cleaning up, door locked till tmrw_

He sends off the text to Farah, the not-really-hint to not come over until the next day apparent before he pulls up another conversation.

_Own: Thanks for the food and stuff :)_

He debates it for a while, sending the text to Dirk. But then he realises he’s overthinking it and sends it with only a hint of resistance. 

Not expecting a reply back at least for a while given how early it was, he jumps when his phone vibrates. 

_Dirk: u r v v welcome! cn I cme over? Is it 2 soon? R u ok?_

It makes Todd snort, the fact that Dirk texted exactly how he talked. Just with more early 2000’s text acronyms thrown in. The concern is also pretty endearing if Todd let’s himself think about it. He hadn’t gone through a heat since knowing Dirk due to the stress of their cases, and it was nice to know Dirk cared about him even while in the throw of his hormones.

He doesn’t even think about the state of his apartment before replying.

_Own: Give me an hour then yes_

Normally he’d be a little territorial over his space after a heat hence his text to Farah, but Dirk was his exception to everything.

_Dirk: GREAT!!!!!_

Todd just shakes his head affectionately before going into the livingroom, holding his mug close as he looks over the carnage.

It’s not too bad, but the bed definitely needed to be changed and the toys cleaned and put somewhere. General tidying needed to be done too.

“Shit.” Running a hand through his still wet hair, he spots something on his bedside table amongst the toys and lube. Squinting, he goes over, rolling his eyes at himself when he spots what it is.

He picks up the note from where it was resting and looks it over, shaking his head at himself for being so sentimental, even during heat. Maybe, he could see where his heat addled brain had got the idea that Dirk was his alpha from, maybe. But looking at it with a clear head this was just Dirk being a friend. Sure he may have missed him in a friend way, but not in the way Todd wanted. Dirk was just a little weird, and he didn’t have the best social boundaries so of course him doing research and getting Todd a box full of sex stuff seemed like a normal thing for him to do. He’d also stocked Todd’s kitchen, that wasn't weird. It was just a friend taking care of a friend. Todd couldn’t let the omega part of him get carried away. No matter how much his instincts were screaming at him.

He turns around though, note in hand and goes over to the weird wall divide between the kitchen and living room that was basically an indoor window. He grabs his box of concert tickets and mementos, putting the note in there gently before returning the box to its place on the sill. And okay maybe it was a little weird to keep it. But he liked keeping things that his friends had given him, especially if the things were from Dirk.

Then he gets to work. Stripping his bed is easy, throwing the soiled sheets into his wash basket to be taken down to the laundry room. Putting the sheets back on is harder, and he gets frustrated as the sheets keep pinging from the corners. Letting out a frustrated yell, he finally manages it, shoving his pillows back onto the bed triumphantly along with his now freshly covered comforter.

Moving onto the next task of the sex toys, he’s stopped by a yell from outside.

“Hey, omega, you need a strong alpha to come help you?” Oh shit the windows.

It hadn’t happened for the last couple of heats so Todd hadn’t been worried. But airing out his apartment meant his scent getting out onto the street. And if that wasn’t enough for an entitled asshole to shout up at him, his yell would have topped it off. 

Going to the window, he sticks his head out, looking for the alpha. And there he is on the pavement, arms folded with a leer on his face.

“Fuck off asshole!” Sticking his middle finger out of the window, Todd then slams it shut, along with the other windows that faced out onto the street. Thankfully his building was locked down and you needed to be buzzed up to get in per regulation. But he goes over to make sure his door is locked and the key’s in the lock too just in case the alpha managed to make his way up. 

It was illegal to hurt an omega. But the law was pretty fucking lax these days an the amount of assaults and rapes that went under the radar was scary. Not that Todd couldn’t hold own but it still wasn’t great. 

Laundry could wait awhile, even if it was stinking up the apartment easier now that a few of the windows were closed. 

Todd goes over to the box next, taking everything unused out (which admittedly wasn’t a lot) and transfers it to the box under his bed that he gets out labeled ‘heat shit’. Then he grabs all the used toys, shoving them into the box. The bath is the easiest place to wash them all at the same time, so he goes into the bathroom and runs a shallow bath, putting all the toys into it along with some mild soap. 

Letting them soak, he goes back into the living-room come bedroom. Grabbing a black bag from under the kitchen sink, he goes about collecting all the mostly used and empty lube bottles and food packets, shoving everything into it along with the empty drinks bottles and the box the toys had been in. The bag gets tied up and put next to the door by the laundry basket, and Todd cringes at how gross his hands feel after handling the sticky lube bottles. He washes them before and after he does the few dishes in the sink, before going back into the main room.

Now everything was a bit cleaner as was his head, he was able to parse through the scents a lot easier which is how the blanket gets his attention from where it had been thrown near the window. His blanket, the one with Dirk’s scent all over it.

It has nothing to do with his heat the way he immediately grabs it and shoves it to his face, breathing in as much of Dirk’s scent as he can before impulsively throwing it over his bed. Surprisingly it wasn’t stained, it just smelt a little of sweat and heat. Scent a lot weaker thanks to it being by the open window for a decent amount of time. 

If anybody asked, he was keeping it because it was cozy. Dirk probably wouldn’t even notice it was there anyway.

Checking his phone, he had about a half hour until Dirk would come over so he goes back into the bathroom, washing all the toys thoroughly and drying them properly. He then deposits the lot of them into the ‘heat shit’ box and shoves it back under his bed. 

Then he goes rummaging in his drawers for shirt. Once that’s on, he puts his shoes on and pockets his keys, grabbing the rubbish bag and laundry basket before hefting them out of his apartment, door locking behind him.

His building wasn’t omega only. But the only Alpha in the building currently was Dirk, so Todd doesn’t mind going downstairs this early after his heat. Especially since he can’t smell another alpha around the place.

The bins are still close enough to the building though that he doesn’t have to go further outside than the front door which puts him at ease, and then it’s down to the basement to the laundry room.

There’s another omega down there, and she smiles at Todd weakly. Waving her own bag of laundry.

“Rough heat huh?” Small talk is easy, he didn’t know her properly but he knew she lived on the floor below him. And she was an omega, they had some common ground.

“You can say that again.” She shrugs, putting her money in the washing machine before turning it on as Todd unloads his own washing into the one next to her. 

“Hope you feel better later.” He tells her as she finishes up, grabbing the empty laundry bag to take up.

“You too.” She salutes with a smile, and leaves Todd to go about putting in the detergent and fabric softener, large washing machine closing with a quit click once he’s done.

He takes a minute just watch the cycle go round a few times, entranced in the water before shaking himself and making his way back up to his apartment.

Dragging his laundry basket behind him, he’s stopped at his front door by the sight of Dirk who’s sitting on the floor, leaning against his door. 

His eyes are closed, but he opens them as soon as he smells Todd down the hall. Then he’s scrambling up, eyes wide and beaming.

“TODD! You’re okay!” 

And okay Todd hurries the rest of the way down the hallway, barely stopped himself from launching into Dirk’s arms. But he did that on a regular basis. 

Dirk reaches out anyway, pulling him into a hug before stiffening up and growling a little, pulling back with an embarrassed shrug. 

“Sorry, hormones and all that nonsense.”

Todd’s too busy trying to stop himself from scenting Dirk right then and there to do anything but mutter a vaguely suggestive “Yours or mine?”

Dirk doesn’t answer, and they stand there for a few seconds just staring at one another awkwardly before Todd makes himself aware enough to go for his keys.

“Why didn’t you just go in man?” 

Todd asks as he unlocks the door, kicking it open as he goes in and dumps the wash basket in the bathroom.

Dirk makes a strangled noise as he steps into the apartment, pausing on the threshold. 

Todd stops for a second and sniffs before cringing. It still smelt slightly like heat, especially with his living room windows shut.

“Sorry hold on, i’ll open the windows. Go stand by em and eventually it’ll leave.”

“Don’t apologise for my stupid instincts. It’s not your fault alphas are apparently hardwired to be jerks. And that’s exactly why Farah took my keys off of me. And made me stay at her flat. And wouldn’t let me call you. She wouldn’t let me do anything to be honest which I am very grateful for because I wouldn’t want to do anything that you didn’t want me to! Although I guess the instincts would just be making me lose my inhibitions because honestly it’s not like I haven’t thought about fucking you. But I mean, who hasn’t you’re great!”

Dirk’s standing by the window, head practically hanging out of it, so Todd can’t see his face. But he stiffens up exactly when Todd does as they both realise what he’s blurted out.

“Dirk, if that’s just your hormones talking i’de really rather you leave until the smell of the heat is fully gone.” Todd’s surprised at how calm and steady his voice is despite his insides shaking with both want, hope and terror.

Tears prick the back of his eyes as Dirk slowly turns around, bright red and shaking himself. 

There’s a silence then, for what seems like years as Todd watches Dirk’s face flash through a mixture of emotions. Eventually it settles on resignation, and a wave of emotions rolls off him so hard Todd can’t help but pick up the scent.

It’s sad, the happy soft and sharp of the mallow sherbet completely gone as the spike of sweaty horror overcomes it, filled with a heavy and horrible scent of sadness and loneliness. 

Then he squares his shoulders, leaning back against the wall next to the open window.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out.” His voice is soft, with a remble running through it that has Todd taking a small step closer, wanting to go over and comfort him.

“I thought you'd never find out because you don’t scent people, you made that very clear. I never wanted you to know. Especially not like this.” 

“Find out what?” Todd’s own voice is barley more than a whisper, taking another step closer, fingers twitching to take Dirk’s hands in his own. To get that scent to go, to make Dirk happy. 

Dirk looks at him then from where he’d been staring at the floor “That i’m totally in love with you?” 

“That’s just the fucking hormones talking and you know it.” Instantly he goes into defense mode, backing away. Alphas had told him they loved him in the past while he had been in heat and then fucked him over. 

Dirk didn’t know what he was saying.

“No I. Shit. Okay. Maybe, the hormones made me say it when non-hormone smelling me wouldn’t have. But it’s true. I’ve loved you since day one. It only made me say what I was already feeling.” 

“Shut up. You’re talking through your hormones right now you don’t mean it. You don’t mean fucking any of it.”

“Todd.” And Todd’s heart breaks the way Dirk’s does. He can smell it. It’s awful, rancid. It smells as if his heart had really died.

“I love you. I never wanted to say anything because you hate alphas. I was just glad you put up with me, I didn’t want to hate me too.” 

“Dirk I-” His own heart is breaking. Because his alpha’s is. No, because, because. Why wasn’t he his alpha? Why wasn’t Dirk?

Sweet, lovely Dirk. Dirk who was baring his soul. Why wasn’t he Todd’s?

“Prove it.” He needs to be sure. Scent wasn’t enough, even if he can smell that his heat scent is gone now and Dirk has to be thinking clearly. “Prove to me that you mean it, that you’re not going to just say it and leave.”

And oh, the rancid scent goes. Not completely, it still lingers in the air as Dirk collapses against the wall even further, slumping down a little. But it’s replaced by something hopeful. 

Dirk doesn’t lurch forward or come at him like he expects and it somewhat braced for after past experiences of alphas just coming at him. Instead, Dirk reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Because Dirk was always the exception.

He rings someone then and puts it on speaker phone. They’re both silent and tense as it rings, eventually getting through.

“Hello? Dirk are you alright?” It’s Farah, and Todd’s heart stutters. What did Farah know?

“How long have I been in love with Todd? How long have you been complaining at me about my pining and bloody as you put it ‘sickly in love smell’?”

“Forever? Dirk why are you asking me this? Did you want me to complain at you again about it because right now i’ve just gotten up and if you’re not in trouble i’de like to go back to sleep-”

“Hi, Farah.” His voice cracks, and the line goes silent for a second.

“Oh.” Farah breaths out “I think I will go back to sleep. Call me, uh, later? Yes, later. Do that. Bye.” Then she clicks the phone off.

Todd reels. Farah was the bluntest person he knew. She never lied, and was truthful to a fault, never one to even think of evading it. 

“Dirk-”

“I’m sorry. I know you’re not interested. Don’t take this as me forcing my feelings onto you or anything we can go back to normal and never talk about it again because really i’de rather keep you as a friend and-”

“Dirk shut up.” 

To his credit Dirk does, staying practically glued to the wall as he watches Todd start to pace.

“I, this is a lot. You know this is a lot right? And it’s still hard for me to accept that it’s not the hormones talking?” He’s talking faster and faster, hand going to hold his neck, covering the scent glands there as a reflex. 

“What if I could prove it wasn’t the hormones?” 

Todd doesn’t stop pacing, but he listens. “What?”

“What if we met up tomorrow in a neutral place and I told you then. If you need more proof than Farah.”

He doesn’t sound accusatory which is more than Todd deserves. 

“I, yes. That, that would be enough proof.” 

“Good.” He doesn’t sound happy, he doesn’t sound like Dirk. And Todd wants to change that, wants to make Dirk laugh and wrap him up in his arms.

But he can’t. He can’t let himself get hurt again. 

Slowly, Dirk goes past him. “I’ll meet you tomorrow at the diner two blocks down okay?”

“The earlier the better?” It slips out, but it’s enough to get Dirk to pull the smallest of smiles which makes todd’s heart leap.

“I can be be there by seven.” Dirk opens the door, standing in the threshold again and Todd wants to do nothing more than pull him back on, scent him, make him happy again.

“I’ll meet you there at seven then.”

He leaves and Todd’s chest aches. “Fuck. Fuck all of this.”

Going over he closes the windows again before throwing himself onto his bed, burrowing into the fresh sheets, not thinking as he pulls the blanket up to his face. 

Dirk, his Dirk. He liked him, loved him, wanted to fuck him. Dirk Gently, the only alpha Todd could ever love but never deserve. 

*

He doesn’t sleep that night, so he’s wide awake, clean and nicely dressed at the diner at six thirty sharp. 

His brain hadn’t been kind to him. Because of course it hadn’t. No matter how much he tried he couldn’t get the rancid scent from his mind, the scent of how heartbroken Dirk had been.

That had been battling with his insecurities though, about how he didn’t deserve Dirk. How Dirk was too good for him.

The poor waitress must smell the sadness on him as she pours his cup of coffee as she smiles at him sadly. Todd cringes internally, watching as she walks away.

Todd doesn’t smell Dirk coming, because he didn’t do that. So he’s surprised when Dirk flops into the booth opposite him.

“Good morning.” He looks haggard, and Todd guesses he didn’t get much sleep either.

“Didn’t sleep huh?”

“Not a bit.” Then he makes grabby hands for Todd’s cup, and Todd hands it over wordlessly and winces as Dirk down half of it before retching. He must be tired if he was willing to drink black coffee.

Handing it back, Dirk wipes at his lips. “So, do we want food first or should we get to the long and daunting conversation first?”

“Food?” Todd would have opted for the long conversation if he hadn’t seen the waitress come back, looking a little worried at the pair of them as she re-fills his mug as hands them menus.

“I’ll just have a latte and some waffles please.” Dirk asks, not even having to look.

“I’ll have an egg on toast please too.” 

She takes the menus, leaving them to stare at one another.

“So, yesterday.” Todd starts, because he felt awful. 

He knew Dirk was the exception, he knew Dirk wouldn’t treat him like shit yet he acted as if he would, and that wasn’t fair. 

“I just wanted to say sorry, for how I acted. I know you wouldn’t just say something and leave I know. I just, past people have done it and I get defensive and I know that you know that but i’m sorry.” 

It’s hard, saying all that. Because being emotionally vulnerable wasn’t something he liked. But it’s worth it for the way Dirk’s shoulders untense a little.

“That’s okay. Shit, that’s more than okay Todd.” He lurches forward, hands skittering across the table before he pulls them back to himself with a blush and a frown.

And this wasn’t right. Dirk acting so anxious. Dirk needed to be happy. So, todd reaches across himself, only with one hand though, grabbing one of Dirk’s in his own and holding on tightly.

Dirk seems to melt, shoulders hunching as he holds on tightly. 

“You still mean it? In a neutral place without heat scent?” Todd hates how timid his voice is, but the important thing is he’s asked, and by the way Dirk wiggles, it was the right thing to do.

“Shit, I’ve loved you since day one. Because you’re grouchy and sarcastic and you rolls your eyes far too much. But you care, you care so deeply. And even though you’re flawed, you’re no longer pretending that you’re not. You’re a good person, the best person. I’ve loved you forever because you’re you, not because you’re an omega.”

Todd clings to dirk desperately, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Because Dirk was telling the truth, and how could Todd deal with that.

“You deserve better. A nice person. Someone who’ll treat you right. An omega who’ll do everything you want. Be everything you want.”

“Why would I do that when I have an omega here who is everything I need?” Todd laughs then, because Dirk looks genuinely baffled, head cocked to the side while he leaves indents of his fingers in Todd’s hand.

“I’m not a nice person.”

“You are to me, and Amanda and Farah, and Hobbs and Tina and all your other friends.”

“We don’t have other friends.” It comes out, easy as anything and Dirk smiles. 

“You’re right. But you are, just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“And what about a good omega? An omega that’ll be everything you want. One that’ll do as you please and dote on you.”

“One, you already dote on me don’t try and say you don’t. And two, I don’t want an omega that’ll do whatever I want. I want you.” 

“You really mean it huh?” 

“I forget you don’t scent people, open your damn nose Todd.”

Todd laughs, loud in the otherwise pretty quiet diner and does. Letting himself.

Dirk smells like he does when he’s content, sharp as sherbet and sweet as mallow. There’s no longer the rancid, acrid smell of a broken heart. Instead there’s something there, floral and soft. A flower Todd can’t name but will smell every damn flower until he can. 

“I guess you do.”

“And uh, can I? Can I scent you?” 

“You don’t?” Dirk’s free hand had started to go towards their held hands, fingers grazing gently over the scent glands in Todd’s wrists. 

“Well it’s not polite is it if you don’t do the same to me. I mean apart from my traitorous brain doing it yesterday which i’m really sorry about-”

Todd laughs again, delighted. Because of course. 

“Yes, yes you can. always. “

“Oh.” 

And then he does, getting the dopiest grin on his face that Todd had ever seen.

“You, oh my gosh you smell so good.”

Then he laughs, the brightest laugh Todd wanted to hear every damn day for the rest of is life.

“Excuse me, I- your breakfast is getting cold but we didn’t want to interrupt.”

They both break away from one another quickly, eyes swivelling to the waitress who was standing to the side with their oder in hand.

“I am so sorry, oh my. Thank you so so much, here oh.” Dirk fumble sin his jacket, pulling his wallet out to pay upfront, along with a tip and a business card.

“Sir that’s not- we can remake it?” 

“No need, here Todd.” He pushes Todd’s plate towards him.

“Sorry for the inconvenience.” Todd shrugs and she nods before grinning widely, going back towards the kitchen.

Once she’s through the doors. They share a look, dissolving into giggles.

“We’re so hopeless.” Todd mutters, grabbing the silverware and unraveling it before tucking in.

“You can say that again.”

Todd snorts, then takes a mouthful of the lukewarm toast. “So, are we dating now or what?”

Dirk pauses, chewing his own mouthful quickly and swallowing. “I’de like that.”

“Want to set up boundaries and shit when we get back?” Todd asks warily, conversations like this hadn’t gone well in the past but he relaxes as Dirk nods happily.

“Oh fuck yes. I have to finish these waffles first though they’re good even only a tiny bit warm.”

“Alright great, when we get back.”

Dirk reaches out to brush his fingers against Todd’s scent gland again. “When we get back.”


End file.
